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Witness The World’s Most Bedazzled Toilet

This summer I’m embarking on a project to remodel my bathroom. Although functional, there is a 1970′s vibe that leaves me feeling less than proud to show off this space. I’m fairly certain the drab aesthetics contribute to my dread of climbing out of bed every morning to start the daily shower routine.

The bath project starts with one goal: Fit an antique claw-foot tub within the 8′ x 8′ square room. I want the unexpected “Wow!” when someone slides open the pocket door and finds a stunning white porcelain beauty. Let’s face it, there are only so many things you can do with a sink, toilet and tub. And, unless it’s gilded in gold, the proverbial throne is not a stunning architectural structure. Sure, I want to feel like a princess while soaking in my new tub but eventual resale value is the real motivation for bedazzling the bathroom. After all, what else is there in this room that can produce an enticing real-estate photo that sets your bathroom above the standard, luring prospects to make a purchase or sign a lease?

You put crystals where?

Have you noticed how many apartment bathrooms show up in brochures and get a featured spot in Craigslist online ads? At Beyond Wine & Cheese Marketing, we’ve never seen a photo of a bathroom that elicits a “Wow!” while flipping through housing for rent ads. Actually, most apartment bathroom photos make us wonder why the standard oak cabinet and a colorful shower curtain are the best features you want to show a prospect. Yep, that’s a toilet. If it’s not bedazzled or gilded in gold is it your best foot forward in a photo gallery?

Show us your gilded toilet at No More Homemade Flyers.

On to the Next One

Published August 12, 2010 Creative Apartment Marketing , Marketing Gone Awry Leave a Comment
Tags: Apartment, Apartment Marketing, Balloon, Beyond Wine & Cheese Marketing, Dollar Store, Monkey, No More HomeMade Flyers, Renewal Letter, Resident Retention

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: resident retention is one of the most important aspects of apartment marketing. But some of the retention ideas I’ve seen floating around out there suck need some fine tuning. For example:

Attach renewal letters to a balloon.

Followed closely by…

Attach renewal letters to a Mylar balloon.

WHAT??? I can attach a renewal letter to a non-Mylar OR a Mylar balloon?! And if your mind isn’t already blown, wait ‘til you find out that either kind of balloon can be attached to the doorknob in case the resident isn’t home. If that doesn’t work for you:

Attach renewal letters to a 100 Calorie Pack with a clever phrase about residents “desserting” you.

Oh, come on people! I know that there’s an obesity epidemic in America, but you couldn’t spring for some Ho Hos or Little Debbies? I’m a woman – I read into things, and I would get a very different message from the 100 Calorie Pack than you are intending. Moving on:

Party: A theme party; example – a murder mystery dinner – have the papers ready for them to sign.

You could even take it a step further and just make those who don’t sign the papers the victims of your murder “mystery”. Done. It’s all about the hard sell. But if you’re concerned that blood stains will scare away new prospects, try a more lighthearted approach:

Attach renewal letters to a Whoopee Cushion and incorporate the expression “Whoopee!!”.

Your 8 year old male residents (or maybe those with the maturity of an 8 year old), will be sure to renew their leases on the spot. Huh? You don’t have 8 year olds renting apartments? Well that’s strange…

Inflatable Monkeys: Attach a sticker or card that says ‘Don’t monkey around! We want you to stay!’

Just what I need. More crap lying around my apartment. How about offering me an extra closet for storage? But if you combined this idea with a Mylar balloon (cannot be non-Mylar)…

Consider. It. Renewed.

Or there’s always the option of not having a crap apartment with crap customer service that turns residents off. But that doesn’t include a fun trip to the dollar store, now does it?

Is a monkey trying to get you to renew your lease? Share with us at blog@beyondwineandcheese.com!

There’s a (Pool) Party in My Bedroom…All Night Long!

Published July 26, 2010 Creative Apartment Marketing Leave a Comment
Tags: Air Conditioning, Apartment Marketing, Beyond Wine & Cheese Marketing, Fish, No More HomeMade Flyers, Nordstrom, Plastic Pools, Pool, Renter's Insurance, Seattle, Summer, Toys 'R Us, Water

I can’t speak for the rest of the country, but SUMMAH TIME has FINALLY arrived in Seattle, and I couldn’t be happier…with one exception: no pool.

When I was little, I used to say if I could be any animal, I would want to be a fish so I never had to leave the water. Of course, now that I’m working full time and have to face the stresses of being out in the real world, I would choose the stress-free life of a cat, but my love of swimming hasn’t died. In fact, I choose to break the bank every month with a membership to LA Fitness just for the lap pool. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize until it was too late that their pool is over-chlorinated. I mean, really, are the other adults at lap swim relieving themselves?

Actually, I don’t want to know.

Now, I will be the first to admit, it seems kind of silly to have a pool in Seattle. It costs how much and you can only use it for maybe three months out of the year without freezing your tushy off? So, I can’t be too upset that my new apartment building doesn’t have a pool. In terms of amenities, I would have to choose a washer/dryer in-unit over a community pool.

But what to do about those occasional unbearably hot days? I have yet to meet anyone else in the area who has a house or apartment with air conditioning (so Nordstrom, here I come!), and standing in front of the freezer with the door open is just going to send my utility bill out the roof.

Now, when I was younger, the solution was one of those little plastic pools from Toys ‘R Us – actually, not just one, but many. Seriously, those things got holes faster than a lawn being aerated. Regardless, they provided hours of entertainment and relief from the 70 degree heat! (Hey, I said we were in Seattle, not Florida.) So maybe we were on to something as kids that’ll come in handy with these pool-less apartments…

Aaaaahhhhh, sweet SUMMAH TIME!

PS: Don’t forget the renter’s insurance!

Is your apartment community cooling down in creative ways? Share with us at blog@beyondwineandcheese.com!

No More HomeMade Flyers

Archive for the 'Creative Apartment Marketing' Category

Witness The World’s Most Bedazzled Toilet

On to the Next One

There’s a (Pool) Party in My Bedroom…All Night Long!

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