Marketing Gone Awry « No More HomeMade Flyers

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Witness The World’s Most Bedazzled Toilet

This summer I’m embarking on a project to remodel my bathroom. Although functional, there is a 1970′s vibe that leaves me feeling less than proud to show off this space. I’m fairly certain the drab aesthetics contribute to my dread of climbing out of bed every morning to start the daily shower routine.

The bath project starts with one goal: Fit an antique claw-foot tub within the 8′ x 8′ square room. I want the unexpected “Wow!” when someone slides open the pocket door and finds a stunning white porcelain beauty. Let’s face it, there are only so many things you can do with a sink, toilet and tub. And, unless it’s gilded in gold, the proverbial throne is not a stunning architectural structure. Sure, I want to feel like a princess while soaking in my new tub but eventual resale value is the real motivation for bedazzling the bathroom. After all, what else is there in this room that can produce an enticing real-estate photo that sets your bathroom above the standard, luring prospects to make a purchase or sign a lease?

You put crystals where?

Have you noticed how many apartment bathrooms show up in brochures and get a featured spot in Craigslist online ads? At Beyond Wine & Cheese Marketing, we’ve never seen a photo of a bathroom that elicits a “Wow!” while flipping through housing for rent ads. Actually, most apartment bathroom photos make us wonder why the standard oak cabinet and a colorful shower curtain are the best features you want to show a prospect. Yep, that’s a toilet. If it’s not bedazzled or gilded in gold is it your best foot forward in a photo gallery?

Show us your gilded toilet at No More Homemade Flyers.

Classy Is To Dirty, As Elegant Is To… Peeling Paint?

Published November 3, 2010 Apartment Marketing is Like a Personal Ad , Marketing Gone Awry Leave a Comment
Tags: Addidas, Apartment Marketing, Beyond Wine & Cheese Marketing, Classy, Elegant, First Impression, hamster, Mixed Messages, Ragamuffin, Seattle, Walking the Talk

Growing up, I had an Adidas jacket that I never wanted to take off. And living in the Seattle area, there weren’t many months in the year that I couldn’t wear this heavy coat. Unfortunately, when I was in fourth grade our class pet, a hamster who will remain nameless, got hungry while I was holding him and took a bite out of the sleeve of my jacket.

Considering the size of a hamster’s mouth, the hole wasn’t initially very big, but being a fidgety fourth grader who couldn’t just leave the hole alone, it quickly grew. The hole didn’t bother me, but eventually my mother couldn’t handle me looking like a little ragamuffin girl anymore and made me get a new coat. Traumatizing, right? (Although these days I don’t think I would complain if someone wanted to buy me new clothes.)

As a child, it’s understandable that I didn’t care – but of course my mom didn’t want people thinking I wasn’t being taken care of properly. However, nowadays I care a little bit more about what people think of me. For my job I usually speak to people over the phone before I meet them in person, and I (like to think that I) present myself verbally in a very professional manner, so of course when I eventually meet people I want my appearance to match the impression I’ve given.

It’s all about not sending mixed messages – walking the talk. And that lesson should apply to all aspects of life, no? Well, then I’ll let you make this connection all on your own:

Why, yes, the words “classy” and “elegant” always come to mind when I see dirt and peeling paint!

My only hope in this case is that the words speak louder than the appearance of this sign. And that the apartment building doesn’t match.

Does your apartment marketing need a bath? Beyond Wine & Cheese Marketing has the soap. Share with us at blog@beyondwineandcheese.com!

On to the Next One

Published August 12, 2010 Creative Apartment Marketing , Marketing Gone Awry Leave a Comment
Tags: Apartment, Apartment Marketing, Balloon, Beyond Wine & Cheese Marketing, Dollar Store, Monkey, No More HomeMade Flyers, Renewal Letter, Resident Retention

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: resident retention is one of the most important aspects of apartment marketing. But some of the retention ideas I’ve seen floating around out there suck need some fine tuning. For example:

Attach renewal letters to a balloon.

Followed closely by…

Attach renewal letters to a Mylar balloon.

WHAT??? I can attach a renewal letter to a non-Mylar OR a Mylar balloon?! And if your mind isn’t already blown, wait ‘til you find out that either kind of balloon can be attached to the doorknob in case the resident isn’t home. If that doesn’t work for you:

Attach renewal letters to a 100 Calorie Pack with a clever phrase about residents “desserting” you.

Oh, come on people! I know that there’s an obesity epidemic in America, but you couldn’t spring for some Ho Hos or Little Debbies? I’m a woman – I read into things, and I would get a very different message from the 100 Calorie Pack than you are intending. Moving on:

Party: A theme party; example – a murder mystery dinner – have the papers ready for them to sign.

You could even take it a step further and just make those who don’t sign the papers the victims of your murder “mystery”. Done. It’s all about the hard sell. But if you’re concerned that blood stains will scare away new prospects, try a more lighthearted approach:

Attach renewal letters to a Whoopee Cushion and incorporate the expression “Whoopee!!”.

Your 8 year old male residents (or maybe those with the maturity of an 8 year old), will be sure to renew their leases on the spot. Huh? You don’t have 8 year olds renting apartments? Well that’s strange…

Inflatable Monkeys: Attach a sticker or card that says ‘Don’t monkey around! We want you to stay!’

Just what I need. More crap lying around my apartment. How about offering me an extra closet for storage? But if you combined this idea with a Mylar balloon (cannot be non-Mylar)…

Consider. It. Renewed.

Or there’s always the option of not having a crap apartment with crap customer service that turns residents off. But that doesn’t include a fun trip to the dollar store, now does it?

Is a monkey trying to get you to renew your lease? Share with us at blog@beyondwineandcheese.com!

No More HomeMade Flyers

Archive for the 'Marketing Gone Awry' Category

Witness The World’s Most Bedazzled Toilet

Classy Is To Dirty, As Elegant Is To… Peeling Paint?

On to the Next One

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