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Painfully Polite Notes on Apartment Marketing

beyondwineandcheese — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 19:57:02 +0000

I didn’t even notice the bright yellow post-it-note on my windshield until I had already climbed behind the wheel and settled into the driver’s seat. Maybe one of my friend’s recognized my car in the Target parking lot and left me a note, or better yet, an invitation to join them next door for happy hour. Upon further investigation though, I found myself victim to a Passive Aggressive Note Attack. “Who taught you to park?”, the note said. A quick glance down revealed my tires slightly crossed the solid white line that neatly divides each space. The euphoric high I was feeling from a shopping spree at my favorite store quickly sobered and my good mood deflated.

Get your act together. Exercise some consideration when you leave your large hunk of metal in a public place.

If you didn’t already know, there is a popular website devoted to passive aggressive notes. Cruise around the site and you’ll find a great collection of funny stories and a small disclaimer that says notes posted here “share a common sense of frustration that’s been channeled into written form rather than a direct confrontation. It’s barbed criticism disguised as something else — helpful advice, a funny joke, simple forgetfulness.” Now, imagine what would happen if our current residents and potential prospects began to leave us notes about our apartment marketing. What would they say?

MARKETING CITATION

Now Leasing. “Seriously. Did you ever stop leasing?”
Materials that are copies of copies of copies. “Cough up a couple quarters and pay for a color print.”
Pictures of the community sign in advertising. “Is this sign really the best thing you’ve got going for your community?”
Photos of empty swimming pools. “Is there something floating in the water?”
Thanks for Popping In tag on a bag of microwave popcorn. “We can see that big, bulk-size box of popcorn every time we shop at Costco.”
Hop on Over. “Did you mean to send this cartoon drawing of a frog to me or my five-year-old kid?”
We Love Our Residents. “No you don’t.”
Multiple signs with flags. “C’mon kids, everybody out of the car. It’s a theme park!“
Balloons. “What time does the clown arrive?”
Ignoring rants on ApartmentRatings.com. “If you close your eyes, they will go away.”
Fliers on pizza boxes. “The 90′s called and they want their idea back.”
If You Lived Here, You’d be Home by Now. “If I lived here, I would be dodging traffic in the median.”
Microsoft Publisher. “I’ve seen that flier somewhere … the church bulletin board. No, it was a PTA meeting. And, the corner deli. Wait a minute, I have seen that flier everywhere!“
Otis Spunkmeyer cookies. “Otis is better than 6-degrees from Kevin Bacon. Everybody knows him.”

After a list like that it’s time to give a shout out to The Apartment Expert – Lisa Trosien for opening a similar conversation on her Facebook Fan Page. Have you received a passive aggressive note about your apartment community? If so, share it with us.

These Boots Were Made For Walkin’ (In A Different Neighborhood)

beyondwineandcheese — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 18:07:51 +0000

I have spent the last four years of my life walking. Well, walking and riding the bus (public transportation baby!). That’s what happens when you spend all your money (and your parent’s money) on tuition instead of buying a car. So it was like a small miracle when I finally graduated, got a job, and was able to buy a car. Now I drive everywhere: to the gym, to visit friends, to Safeway a block away from my apartment. Maybe my carbon footprint has grown a size or two, but hey, I’m living the American dream.

But regardless of whether I have a car or not, walkability is still important – especially when you live in a big city. When looking at apartments, renters want to know how easily they can get their errands done on foot. Hence, the Walk Score was created. Not sure what Walk Score is? The website describes it as “the walkability of an address based on the distance from your house to nearby amenities…not how pretty the area is for walking.” Well, I’m glad they cleared that one up for me…

So to increase the attractiveness of an apartment community to would-be renters, managers are starting to post the Walk Scores for their communities in Craigslist ads. But do they really tell you the whole story? Let’s find out…

First we have this beautiful studio apartment:

Nice! I don’t even have anything sarcastic to say about this! And the walk score?

Well, well, look who’s bragging. I feel like we’re talking about a dog now instead of an apartment. “Oh yes, my little Fifi here is VERY walkable. I doubt your mutt Fido has her walking abilities.” Snobs. I bet Fifi is a poodle. But I digress. There must be a catch here somewhere…

The price? No. The size? No, keep reading to the right. The Central District? Yeeeeeah. That would be the one. If you live in Seattle, you understand this might not be the area you WANT to be walking around in. So when you leave your “Very Walkable” apartment to go to the grocery store or park, you might want to pack your brass knuckles, some mace, and a blow horn. This just reinforces the point that the Walk Score doesn’t take into account how pretty the area is for walking…or how safe. Before you sign a lease based on an apartment community’s Walk Score, walk the area for yourself!

This message had been brought to you by the voice of my mother that lives in my head. I never feel safe walking anywhere alone; therefore, neither should you.

Is your apartment’s Walk Score leaving out a few important factors? Let us know at blog@beyondwineandcheese.com!

IIIII CAAAAAN SPEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAK WHHHAAAAAAAAAALE!

beyondwineandcheese — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:43:00 +0000

Sometimes I find it hard to communicate with words on paper – or in today’s world, via text, email, Tweet, Facebook message, etc. I tend to be very animated when I speak to people, so I feel constrained when I can’t control how my readers interpret the message I am trying to get across. Usually my tone and facial expressions convey about 50% of what I’m trying to say (particularly when being sarcastic). Luckily, there are certain things we can do to text, including CAPITALIZE, italicize, bold, and underline – all in addition to awesome punctuation!!!

But I have to say, my favorite word alterations come when I am whining. For example, “I don’t wanna gooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Or, “Eeeeeeeeew! That’s grooooossssssssssss!” There’s also “Grrrrrrrrrrrrr this is stupid.” The common factor? Adding multiples of certain letters. So simple, yet so effective. (Also great for communicating with whales, as we all learned in Finding Nemo.) The only downside? Spell Check HATES it.

However, this particular rental company does not agree with Spell Check:

Appar they think abbrevs are pretty fab too. What are the chances it was some whiny hipster who posted this? Let’s explore.

Well, this doesn’t exactly scream hipster, but it does scream. Don’t all caps and 5 exclamation marks make it feel like they’re yelling at you? And of course that makes me believe the place actually is SUPER CUTE!!!!

Er… This is not exactly my description of cute. But to each his own? And the fresh paint, really? That color? Fingers crossed it looks better in person. You know, to make up for the house’s “cuteness.” Although I can pretty much guarantee a hipster would have no problem living here. It definitely looks like the kind of place you would find cases of PBR and bags of clothes from Value Village.

How does your apartment community get its message across on Craigslist? Let us know at blog@beyondwineandcheese.com!

Can We Trust Her? She Doesn’t Actually Listen to Jay-Z

beyondwineandcheese — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 18:21:59 +0000

When I think of partying, patriotism, and feeling awkward in LA, who comes to mind? Why, Miley Cyrus of course! She’s one of the most popular actresses and singers among pre-teens, and until her little performance on the Teen Choice Awards, mothers loved her as a role model for their daughters. So as an apartment manager, who wouldn’t want to use Miley to rent out some units??

I mean, when you think about it, you’re really appealing to multiple demographics at once with this ad, including, but not limited, to 13 year olds, people who really love partying in the USA, and the graphic-design challenged (Miley’s lookin a little stretched out there, eh?).

And clearly parents will be making their young daughters search for apartments, so I really think they hit the nail on the head with this ad. Anywhere that’s good enough for Miley to party is good enough for me to live.

Is your apartment community getting the wrong celebrity endorsements? Share with us at blog@beyondwineandcheese.com!

It’s Not All Rainbows and Butterflies

beyondwineandcheese — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:12:58 +0000

Plain Craigslist ads are boring. With a number of different companies providing colorful templates with which apartment companies can post their information, you’re behind in the game if you’re just using text and adding a few pictures. But just as I warned in a previous blog post, some of these “professional” companies might be leading you astray.

Now, I understand that there is a big push to market to Gen Y, which means finding youthful designs and figuring out what amenities will appeal to this demographic:

But wait… Last time I checked, Gen Y didn’t include girls between the ages of 5 and 10. And didn’t I see something somewhere about when it’s ok to use Comic Sans?

At least one company is getting Craigslist ads right…

Is your apartment marketing to the wrong demographic? Share with us at blog@beyondwineandcheese.com!

Who’s Excited?

beyondwineandcheese — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:26:35 +0000

No More HomeMade Flyer’s is up for a Blogger’s Choice Award in the “Best Marketing Blog” category! Make sure to visit the link on the righthand column of this page to vote!!

Isn’t that the American thing to do?

Seriously… Sugar Ray?

beyondwineandcheese — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 18:50:15 +0000

I don’t consider myself a very confrontational person. If I have a choice between yelling at someone or giving them the silent treatment, I would rather fill the room with a chill from my cold shoulder. I’m not sure how I developed this tendency, but I know I’m not the only person who avoids confrontation. Luckily for the non-confrontational, we have a weapon stronger than the silent treatment: passive aggressiveness. This can be implemented in a number of ways, especially with outlets on the internet such as Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc. But sometimes it doesn’t get any better than an old-fashioned note or flyer.

In an apartment building, when you have a problem with neighbors, sometimes the anonymous passive aggressive approach is the best for resolving issues without directly offending someone. One common problem in smaller apartment buildings occurs in the laundry room. When there are very few machines it is important, especially during peak laundry times, to keep close track of when your load will finish. Unfortunately, many people fail to do this, and it is extremely annoying for the next person who has to wait around for you to move your laundry. In this case, some people take matters into their own hands to prevent the problem from happening again in the future:

Now that’s what I call neighborly love. Of course, some problems between neighbors aren’t just about annoyances, but are about more serious issues such as safety. It’s hard living in a community when you don’t always know if your neighbors are taking the necessary safety precautions. Well, instead of leaving it to chance, you can always leave a warning note:

I really like how quickly this flyer moves from the friendly “Hey Neighbors!” greeting to the threat of “Rape, Burgle, Murder!!” I just hope the flyer wasn’t posted in a place that could be viewed from the front door of the building or else it will quickly become a welcome sign to anyone looking for an easy break-in.

Another common problem in buildings with thin walls is…….…loud music (I know what you were thinking!). Last year my upstairs neighbors had impeccable timing, always turning on their pounding techno just as I would lay down to go to sleep. If only I had thought to deal with it like this:

Sugar Ray? Um, yeah, I’d take my techno neighbors over these guys any day… Now I’m sure we’re all guilty of playing our music too loud once in a while, but I really hope that most apartment buildings don’t have this problem:

Somehow the warning that there are spies watching takes away from the threat of eviction. But really, could this be any creepier? The day I see this sign up in my building’s laundry room is the day I break my lease instead of waiting around for the underwear thief to get evicted.

Many thanks to my good friend Ashley for sending me the link to PassiveAggressiveNotes on Flickr, the source for all these photos! And if you’ve seen any passive aggressive flyers posted in your apartment building lately, take a picture and send them to blog@beyondwineandcheese.com!